Use Some Common Sense To Get Your Girlfriend Back

By Kathleen Swain


For most of us guys, common sense goes right out the window after a breakup. We will try anything and everything to show the woman we love how important she is to us but what do you do when it seems like she doesn't care at all? While you might love your ex girlfriend or your wife with all your heart, it seems nothing is going to sway her decision and bring her back to you. You wind up feeling like you're doing everything wrong. You're anxious and scared to death that this truly is the end of your relationship unless you can figure her out and convince her that your relationship is worth saving.

First, you're never going to be able to convince your ex girlfriend or your wife to come back to you. Breaking up with you was her decision and she is going to have to think that getting back together is her decision also. Respect her decision to leave you. You can never really win an argument with a woman and even if you win, you've lost.

Dealing with your emotions over your breakup is very important. Regaining your feeling of self worth and your own self-confidence is necessary for you to function as a normal human being again. Ah, to feel normal again! Wouldn't that be awesome? It will happen for you. You need to know this no matter if you want to move past your relationship or if you hope to get back together with your ex. Getting rid of those feelings that harm us and replacing them with emotions that help you is a necessary step in your healing process and becoming the kind of person that you were before your breakup.

Understand that the breakup doesn't rest entirely upon your shoulders. While it might be easy to take the brunt of the blame on yourself since you are responsible for your own actions, both you and your ex are to blame for this breakup. Placing blame isn't really important though. What is important is that you learn from the past and move on towards your future.

Dwelling upon the past and what you did wrong can damage your already broken ego. You probably feel bad about yourself. You were rejected in some way in this relationship and the resulting breakup. It's unfortunate for your ex though because there will come a day when you'll begin to feel better about yourself and your ex is going to realize that they judged you poorly. No matter what the circumstances were, you deserve to be loved and cared for by someone special in this world. You deserve to be treated well and while none of us is perfect, you are unique and wonderful in your own way.

On the other hand, be on the lookout for requests for help when she does begin to feel something for you again. Often a woman won't come right out and say that she misses you or that she is thinking about you after a breakup. She might find a lame excuse to call you for advice or ask for your help with something. Don't allow yourself to be used, of course, but look for these openings as a sign that she is beginning to miss you.

You have to treat yourself well and start doing things that are going to make you happy. This might mean something as simple as watching a movie that makes you smile and improves your mood even when you don't want to or treating yourself to a little shopping therapy. A quick trip to the store to buy yourself a present can prove to yourself that you love yourself. Before you laugh or think that this is ridiculous, give it a try.

Getting past the pain of your breakup isn't an easy process. There are going to be times when you feel like you are cured but those black thoughts and feelings of despair might be right around the corner for you. Understanding this and being patient with yourself is something to keep in mind. You can and will feel better one day soon and the pain from this breakup will be a distant memory.




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